Whispers of Change: Embracing Pain to Find Possibility

“No, I am not bipolar,” he asserted, his voice firm yet uncertain. He then danced around topics, his thoughts swirling like a song of flute and melody. “That’s what they say, but I don’t think I am,” he continued, circling about a lover’s quarrel with raging emotions, caught in the passion of obsession, addiction, and fright.

“I’m not bipolar, I’m not; but I definitely need to stabilize my moods, and my mood stabilizer really does help me.” My response to him was simple: does it even matter what we call it? Isn’t all that truly matters knowing what works? Let us not quarrel too much over the issues of terminology. Is it not better to focus on the relief, the alleviation, and the solution at hand?

“Indeed,” he said, “I have put my partner through so much. The story is long, and I’m just trying to explain it’s not all my fault.” 

I replied, “Surely you were dealt a bad deck of cards, even from before you were born. This was not your fault, nor does it define your essence and truth.

Your heart is noble, filled with good intention; however, ill equipped without the tools to sustain. Your being entangled in a myriad of complexities— infirmities, neurotic tendencies, anger, and rage—caught in the bipolar prison of a self-imposed cage. Now, the fear of consequences haunts you, looming on the brink of loss, teetering on the edge of losing it all, hanging by a thread, so very close to, if not already, rock bottom.

Are you now ready for change?” I asked. 

“I have no choice,” he replied. “There is no other alternative. The pain is far greater than the pleasure. However, I have no faith or belief in myself that I can.” 

“Then believe in your pain, for that is undeniably true. Your pain will not deceive you. Is it not so very real? Let that be your reality, and perhaps then, after that, another possibility may emerge. But only if you make it will you have the chance to discover whether it exists or not.” 

He sat, gazing and pondering the possibilities that lay ahead. Pain indeed at times the greatest teacher.

(c)2024 John Piedrahita